Un-busy

Is unbusy a word? I am trying to think of the opposite of busy. Free? Like when someone asks, "Are you busy tomorrow?" You might answer, "No, I'm free." Or maybe you would say, "I am available." Well, that is how I am feeling these days - unbusy, free, available.

We have dropped out of a few things in the last few years. Two of those things are Awana and Life Group. For about 5 years, we met with a small group on Tuesday evenings. It was great! We loved the people and we enjoyed studying the Bible together and sharing our lives with one another. We were involved with Awana for 2 years. The meetings were held every Wednesday and it was a beautiful thing to see my kids memorizing scripture.

What started out so good began to turn into guilt and stress and chaos. The crazy cleaning before everyone arrived for small group.....the rushing to put the kids to bed before they saw that company had arrived. The arguing about who was going to take the kids to Awana (Matt who had just arrived home after working all day or me who had been with the kids every second since waking that morning)....the kids staying up an hour and a half past their regular bedtime.

First we decided to cut out small group. This was a difficult decision. When we began hosting Life Group at our house, we were the only couple that did not have access to free childcare (ie. family that lived in town). We knew that by stepping away from this commitment, if we ever wanted to get involved again, it would most likely be at someone else's house and we would have to pay for childcare. We do miss the sweet fellowship of that group. But we don't miss all the other stuff that came along with it.

Awana is a great program. Giving it up felt like I was turning my back on the people in my church who love my kids. These volunteers give their time and energy and knowledge to help my kids know Jesus. I am so grateful for them. But at this time in our lives, the cost is too great. I don't want to argue with my husband. I don't want my kids to be up late. I don't want our family to be in two separate places.

Maybe one day, we will join a Life Group again. My kids may be involved in Awana in the future. Just not right now.

For now, all five of us are usually in our pajamas by 7 pm. The kids play and act silly. Matt and I clean the kitchen together. Matt plays on the computer. I check facebook. There are nights that we play games, read stories, make something yummy to eat....and other times that we just do our own thing. It feels good to just be together....at home.