Sunday, September 21, 2008

A Day of Rest? Confession #2

Sundays are not a day of rest in our house. I hate to say it but it is usually a crazy day and I spend much of it stressed out and in a bad mood. Part of the problem with Sunday is that it comes after Saturday. Saturdays are usually full of baby showers, birthday parties and other things that take our family out of the house. If we stay home on Saturday we may start a "weekend project" that turns into a "5 weekends project".
Back to Sunday....we wake up to a messy house and get the five of us ready for church. We try to be in the car by 9 am. I usually only run back into the house 5-6 times for forgotten diapers, sippy cups, a snack for the (10 minute!) car ride, a pacifier, etc. Now we get to the good part of Sunday: dropping the kids off at Sunday School and spending an hour and a half with my husband learning about lots of good stuff.
We usually stop at Costco or McDonalds on the way home. Back on the road again, the kids are either crying or fighting in the back seat. Walking into the same messy house that we left is always a downer. And then we add a carful of Costco items or fast food to the disaster. After lunch and naps....I begin to freak out because tomorrow is Monday! We have to get the house clean! My husband does not seem to understand that if the house is not clean on Sunday night, I start the week in a deficit. And I WILL NEVER CATCH UP! So I begin to get very grumpy with my family. I become so focused on vacuuming, dusting, windexing, mopping and toilet cleaning that my family becomes an irritation. I am constantly saying, "Go play."
I really do try to go by a "cleaning schedule" during the week so that these things are done by Friday. But either one of two things happens: 1) Not all of the chores get done or 2) If they do get done during the week, by Saturday night everything has been undone! In my mind I know that these things will NEVER ALL BE a mom this is my fate. I do wish that I would accept it. I recognize that at this stage in my life I will do the same things every 30 minutes.....make a meal, serve a meal, clean up a meal, change a diaper, change an outfit, wipe up a spill, pick up the couch cushions, put away a toy....rinse and repeat.
Even though I know these things in my mind....they have yet to transfer to my heart. As I write this, even I can come up with a solution to each one of the problems I have problem is not my messy house or my crazy day. My problem is my attitude about my messy house and my crazy day. I need to accept that this time in my life is so not about me and what I want. I need to enjoy these times, these days, these very short years.
I am forcing myself to just say here it goes....I confess to you readers: I crave, desire and yearn for.....a clean house. I want it more than a happy family and more than a relaxing Sunday. I am vowing right now, with you all as my witnesses, to change my ways. I am going to do whatever it takes to make Sundays a day of rest in our home. Not only a day of rest....a day of fun....a day of laughing....a day of loving. I know that as a mom I will not be able to forgo all of my duties but I am going to change my attitude. I welcome your suggestions, comments and especially your prayers.