Imaginary Letters

I love to read. Have I mentioned that before? The more I read, the more I want to write. Whenever I sit at my computer to write, I just want to read. It is a game of avoidance. When my kids are all in bed (and they have stopped asking for various items and repeatedly getting up to tell me something or to show me something), I think, "This is it. This is my time. I can write and get my thoughts out of my head and out there." Wherever "there" is. So that is my plan but then I manage to find a new blog and it is usually so interesting that by the time I finally force myself to stop reading, I think, "I gotta get off of this computer; I need to relax." Like I've been working!

I've been reading this great book and the author actually has a chapter that discusses the fact that writing is work. It involves making the choice to sit down and focus and write. And saying "no" to other more pressing things like laundry, planning next week's meals and checking Facebook. I never thought of it that way before. I thought of writing as a release, like taking a deep breath and letting it all out. And it does feel that way when I am done but the process of putting my feelings into words and the time it takes to do that - adds up to work.

Just about every other chapter that I read from this author, makes me want to write a response to her. I have a letter written in my head after each one of her stories and then I read another chapter and a new letter begins to form. Nothing ever gets written down on paper. I thought tonight (after reading another chapter) that I should start putting post-it notes on the pages that touched me enough to evoke an imaginary letter in my head. And that maybe one day, I could go back and write a real letter to this author.

But that would never work. My feelings are so fresh and all of the thoughts swirling in my head would not be there if I went back to reread a chapter so that I could write a response. And really, who am I kidding - thinking that one day, I will make the time to write to this author.

I only know of one other person who has read this book and we love retelling the stories and sharing how the author's words have affected us, made us think, changed and challenged us.

But one day, I would really like to let the author know all of that, too. Maybe some day.