Tuesday, October 7, 2008


For anyone who cares: this is my day in a nutshell.....a very big nutshell. I wake up at 6:15 am and plan to hurry and get ready for the day while my three kids continue sleeping. By 6:40, they are all awake and I am not yet ready. Today is picture day at Zachary's school so I prepared him in advance by telling him that I would be picking out his shirt on this day. I even let him try it on two days ago to make sure there would be no fit on picture day. Oh, there is a fit alright! "It feels funny....it's too big....the sleeves are too long...." as he bunches it up in his fist and tries to rip the buttons open. (Did I mentioned that I ironed this shirt? And, if you don't know....I do not iron often.) I tell him that he just has to leave it on for his picture and then he can take it off and just wear his undershirt. He continues to (fake) cry and whine about it almost the entire way to school. Though, I did manage to distract him with a roly poly once we arrive at school.
I work in Zachary's kindergarten class every other Tuesday and today is my day. So after I drop Zachary off at school, I take Emilie and Luke to my friend's house so that they are taken care of while I go help Zachary's teacher. I have an extra 20 minutes before I have to be in the classroom so I thought I would drop in at "Moms In Touch." (This is a group of moms who pray for our kids and their teachers and their classmates and the administration.) Well, I forgot the address of the house the moms are meeting at. I know that the moms are meeting at a house on the court behind my court so I decide that I will sit in my car in the middle of the court and try to figure out which house they were meeting in. I notice that a lot of houses have political signs and some houses have baby swings but I was not about to go knocking on random doors. Thankfully, one of the moms happens to walk out to her car to grab her Bible and I pull up next to her and say, "Are you.....?" And she is just the mom I am looking for! So we chat and say a quick prayer before I have to rush out to volunteer. I am feeling a little disappointed that I could not go on a "prayer walk" with them around the perimeter of the school. Oh, well....maybe next time.
Helping in a kindergarten class is exhausting. I am not even going to go into any of the details. I don't know how those teachers do it! I notice when I arrive that Zachary has just his undershirt on. When I inquire if pictures have already been taken, his teacher assures me that they were. It does cross my mind for a second....'what if my little boy took his "picture shirt" off before pictures were actually taken? What if he has been deceitful?' I dread the day when he chooses to defy me behind my back!
After I work in Zachary's class for two hours, I only have about 20 minutes to leave to go get Emilie and Luke before I have to be back to pick Zachary up from school. Luke is screaming, "hungee" and "nak" on the ride back to Zachary's school. (For those of you who don't have an almost 2 year old, that would be "Hungry" and "Snack".) I am usually very prepared and have crackers in the car for these times but of course I do not have anything.
My gas tank is empty so my brilliant plan is to go pick up lunch for all of us at Chick-Fil-A and we can all eat while I wait in line at the Costco gas station. Well, guess what? "The chicken nuggets taste funny.....they don't taste like McDonald's.....these french fries look weird....I spilled my juice.....I need to change my clothes, NOW!" (If I had a tape of Luke screaming his head off I would push "play" now so that you could have the full effect.)
We get home at about 12:15 and everyone is cranky, hungry (since no one liked the $15 lunch!) and the house is disastrous!
I am beyond tired and after I wrangle all my kids into their beds (after changing clothes, going potty, washing hands, changing a diaper, breaking up a few fights, and dealing with a couple temper tantrums), I decide to take a nap, too. I turn on my very loud fan to drown out all other noises....lay my head down......and.....begin coughing. I have a cold. I have a cough. It is like a tickle in the back of my throat. I cannot sleep. After wasting an hour trying to stop coughing and sleep, I give up.
At 3 o'clock, I gather up my stuff for the gym, wait for Luke to wake up from his nap and give the older two kids a snack. We make it to the gym by 3:45, where I enjoy a wonderful 90 minute respite from my crazy life. I lift weights, work out using the elliptical machine, and take a shower....all while visiting my best friend. It is wonderful.
I forgot to mention that my husband is out of town. So, after the gym, I am not really looking forward to heading home right away. So I decide that I need to buy some sugar-free syrup to make a latte' in the morning. I strap my kids in their carseats for the 100th time today and we head to Smart and Final. Emilie is singing some obnoxious Strawberry Shortcake song at the top of her lungs and Zachary (who did not take a nap) is overly annoyed with her. He decides to hit her in the face. So we have a talk about being kind....in the gym parking lot. I remind them that I have a wooden spoon in my glove compartment and I will use it, if necessary. (Yeah, right....and then I'll be taken into custody after the security cameras catch me on tape!)
Luke is shrieking at the top of his lungs, Zachary is sulking in the backseat (after I tell him that we will not be going to Wendy's for dinner) and Emilie continues to sing. Wow, I sure am having fun!
Once we get into Smart and Final, the kids begin to ask for just about every gigantic box or bag of chips, crackers or cookies in sight. Zachary asks if he can weigh the bananas. I say sure and turn my back. BIG MISTAKE. As I turn to look at him, everything is in slow motion as the free-standing steel scale falls to the ground with Zachary underneath it. He bangs his head pretty hard on the cement floor as other shoppers stop to stare and an employee rushes over to assess the damage. (He was probably worried about a lawsuit.) I decide we don't need bananas. I carry Zachary, who is crying loudly, and push the cart with Luke and Emilie inside, to the coffee aisle. I point out some colorful straws to Zachary and as he reaches up to touch them, he somehow knocks a HUGE bottle of Torani Strawberry Syrup onto the floor. Glass breaks and syrup is oozing everywhere. Zachary really starts sobbing, now. He keeps saying, "I am sorry, mommy. I am sorry." It is really pathetic. Part of me wants to scream at him, "What are you doing?????" But I decide to pity my poor, tired, five year old child. The same people who witnessed our incident over in the produce department, are now witnesses to this unfortunate event. I really want to crawl under a rock. I wonder how many conversations my family is the topic of tonight? "Did you see that mom with the three unruly kids in the store? Why wasn't she watching them? Did you notice she had wet hair and no make-up on? Sheeesh, some people!"
We make it home at about 6 pm and have a gourmet dinner of Eggo waffles and strawberry yogurt. By 7:30, all three kids are in bed. By 8:20, they are all asleep. I have not cleaned my house nor have I done one load of laundry. If someone rang my doorbell right now and peeked in, they would be thinking, "What does this lady do all day?"


Teri said...

Oh, my gosh. I just read your post and now I need a nap.
Such a picture of a crazy day with kids!
I just looked at the clock and it's 10:15. I hope you're either sound asleep or having a large glass of wine.

Allison Vasquez said...

I have no words, but "wow".

Cindy said...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, those poor babies, what a tough day,oh I mean poor , poor Heather , the good news it can't get much worse. I hope Zachary's head is OK and he'll get to pick out his favorite shirt today, he just likes being comfie.

theolsons said...

It is so refreshing to read posts like this one...knowing that I am not the only one having days like this (and I only have two kiddos!)

cyndie said...

maybe you need sugar back in your day, would have been a whole lot easier to end that day with some cookies or ice cream :)

Laura said...

Oh my goodness...that was the best post! I was cracking up, but at the same time feeling your pain, what mother doesn't, we're on in this together THANK GOD!